28 Mar Food for thought – Travel Tuesdays #10
We are so nearly finished travel tuesdays!… “ye and at long last too mate!”. Well there’s no need for that. But I will say this; in one or two weeks time, there will be no more travel tuesdays as we know it and when that day comes, I predict a vague sense of emptiness, something that you won’t quite be able to place to cast shadow over your coming tuesdays!
But fear not, here is this week’s edition. I play food philosopher this week, asking some of life’s big food questions… well at least this what I had planned to do, but instead it just turned into an inane ramble of personal pet grievances.. enjoy!
Food for thought
Some one (or two) liner food observations coming up now. A few, I’m aware are quite personal to me, and the others may not actually make much sense. But I wanted the pun ‘food for thought’ in this book one way or another, so I had to find some content to justify it!
- What’s the deal with cucumber!? It taste like slightly off water. Am I right guys!
- The worst thing in food is undercooked quinoa; it feels like you’ve cracked a tooth.
- Closely followed by overcooked quinoa. If I ever get in charge, under my authoritarian regime, I would punish heavily those who cook their quinoa or any grain incorrectly.
- Why did Noah save the spiders! Definitely missed a trick there. Not food related no, but felt I had to get it off my chest. Damn you Noah!
- What happened to an apple a day keeps the doctor away; now we need at least five portions of fruit and veg a day, plus a handful of goji berries.
- Cake batter = mmm
- Bread dough = not mmm
- What does Luke, as in Luke warm, actually mean? Why Luke? What is Luke? Who the hell is Luke!?
- What came first, the chicken or the egg?… Ye, pretty sure it was the egg.
- One of the strangest things you’ll ever hear in all of life is that white chocolate isn’t actually chocolate! A fact that has made me really consider most of my childhood.
- Why do restaurants train their waiting team to ask diners questions when they are mid-chew?!
- Is there a more love hate activity than washing up as you go along when cooking…?
- Am I only the one who feels that mayonnaise is the most pointless of all the condiments?! Ooh controversial, that’s cucumber, now mayonnaise slammed. No foodstuff is safe!
- Maybe natural salt isn’t the problem, but rather the chemicals added to it? Hmmm?
- Why do people always insist on finishing the marmite analogy; yes you’re like marmite, we know what you are trying to get at. I’m like marmite… I go well with toast. See, no need to say you ‘either love me or hate me’. Anyway, anyone who has ever said that without irony, are usually the worst sort of people. P.S. I don’t mind marmite, my feelings towards it aren’t strong enough to either love or hate it. In fact I think the saying should be changed to; ‘I’m like marmite, ye I’m alright I suppose, you’ll probably feel pretty apathetic to me, despite what you may have heard’.
- You would have thought we would have evolved by now so that cakes lower blood pressure and goji berries increase risk of cancer. Bad system.
- Does anyone actually like goji berries!? I mean would anyone eat them if they weren’t so apparently healthy for us. They taste like Death. Or rather the rotting corpse of Death.
P.S. I’m surprised as anyone at how much the fictional character of Death has appeared in this easy going, food and travel book.
Come on, ‘fess up, how many of you have faked a birthday when eating out? Shameless, all of you, just to get a bit of free cake. For the record, I have never done this…
18.How gutting is it when instead of receiving an extra dessert when dining on your ACTUAL birthday, the restaurant merely sticks a candle in it and scribbles some half hearted birthday wish! Unless it’s an edible candle, hand crafted in white (fake) chocolate, I’m not interested.
19. The most difficult thing about being a self-confessed foody/foodie is the ambiguity of how to spell it…
20. Ah man, have you met that mushroom, he’s such a fungi. (I take full responsibility for such a funny play on words, I just made it up a minute ago, sooo).
21. Wouldn’t ‘The Shining’ have been such a different film, if after all that, the boy was just asking for some red plums. The little fella was just hungry all that time, all he wanted was some bloody plums, then look what happens. I think a lesson we can all learn from, eat more fruit perhaps! I’m sure this is what Stephen King had in mind when he penned the novel. Red plums, red plums… . I was advised by my sister to take this particular observation out, but I’m convinced it makes sense. I think we know who was right…
Anyway, I think this feature may have run its course now.
You’re nearly there, only a few more pages left now! “Thank god for that”, alright you, quiet down!
Well that was fun was it not!? “No”, ok, fine. I’m going, bye.